Pace Yourself, It’s Only Opening Day
Like my buddy Luis said, if you missed opening day for Major League Baseball Thursday, don’t worry, there are still 161 more goddamn games left. Relax.
Everybody was freaking the fuck out yesterday on Facebook like “Oh yeah (insert team name) won! They are in first place.” Seriously, shut up. Who gives a shit? They still have six more months to go until playoffs, so pace yourselves, assholes. I don’t want to see a status update every time the Angels or Dodgers win a game.
Here’s the thing, I don’t need to see 162 fucking games to realize that the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and Philadelphia Phillies are the best teams in baseball and that the Pittsburgh Pirates suck. I can figure that shit out in a couple weeks. Trust me.
This is why I would shorten the season to make the games a little more exciting. I only watch the last few weeks and playoffs anyways. I don’t give a crap in April because those games don’t mean anything. So let’s drop the other 100-and-something bullshit games that don’t matter.
The other thing I would change about baseball is steroid use. I say give them to everyone! That’s right, I said it. The best part about baseball is when some yoked out dude cracks the ball out of the yard anyways. So imagine how many more homers we would see with dudes all jacked up on the juice. Oh man, let me tell you, it would be fucking awesome.
I mean, the perfect game is cool, but who honestly wants to see two dudes play catch for nine innings? Not me. I want giant meat heads belting long balls all season long.
Let’s face it; baseball is NOT America’s past time anymore. Football clearly is. So listen up Bud Selig and take my advice: Cut the season in half and make it mandatory that everyone juice up. You can thank me later when the ratings start to sky rocket.
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about 1 year ago
Couldn’t agree more, I hate seeing all these damn facebook posts from people freaking out over winning game 1 out of 162. It’s like people that brag about their spring training record…The amount of games they play is pretty insane though, I say shorten the season and work on the post season. 4 teams per league is pretty lame, I love the way the NHL is set up. 8 teams per conference 7 games every round. 5 Game series are just too. Selig isnt that bad of a GM in my opinion, hell Gary Bettman is by far the worst out of any sport. Adjust the Season and fix the playoffs and I think the MLB will slowly be back on top.
Now the roids I dont know about, dont get me wrong I love watching a good slug fest where the pitchers cant seem to keep the ball in the park but I think juicing everyone up might be a little too crazy!
about 1 year ago
I completely agree with you in baseball season being way too long. One can honestly miss more than 50 games and still catch more than 100 games. People get all happy on opening day (March) then they lose interest, especially during NBA playoffs, and regain their interest during playoffs (October). Thats a six month interval!!! What’s even worst is when teams go into a one playoff birth/decision game, as if 162 games isn’t enough to figure out which is the better game.
On another note, I disagree in your steroid campaign. Don’t get me wrong, homeruns are probably the most exciting part of baseball but they don’t justify steroid usage in MLB. I can say Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Kobe Bryant, Derrick Rose, and Sidney Crosby are talented and extremely gifted players. They all deserve every credibility and recognition for their athleticism. Mark Mcgwire, Barry Bonds, and Sammy Sosa were all talented but due to steroids they are now perceived as tainted talent. I cannot put them along with the greats of other sports and they were the great of baseball during the steroid era.
Yes, I know steroids is ever sport but baseball took it to a whole new level during its steroid era. Barry Bonds weight before steroids 180 lbs, after 260 lbs. I can’t legitimize their statistics with knowledge of using steroids. If Shawn Merriman continued to do steroids he would of racked up the all time sack record, however he got caught and look at him now. Washed up and with the bills…… nonetheless he could be in a worst spot like playing for the Redskins or something.
about 1 year ago
Watching paint dry is seriously more entertaining than watching an entire baseball season! My FB homepage blew up with baseball updates! Yikes people… get a grip! Unlike football, hockey, etc… etc…, no single game (or month for that matter) counts all that much. You’re right… shorten the season and they’ll get more viewers. I love sports as much as the next guy (or girl), but I can’t devote that much time to one sport. I like NFL… I spend all day Sunday, Monday night and the occasional Thursday and I can watch most games… with baseball, your whole week is done watching just one team! YIKES! No thank you!
As for the steroid use… I like where you’re going with that, but slug fests would just get boring when they happen all the time. Maybe root for another way to make the game exciting!
about 1 year ago
Thanks for the love guys! I’m glad you all agree with me about how stupid long the season is. Its just doesn’t make any sense.
But, come on, steroids would be AWESOME! Think of it this way… Were paying a stupid amount of cash to see these dudes play, right? So I demand excellence. Now, I don’t give a shit about integrity or any that other crap. Nope. I care about me and I want to see these athletes at peak performance. If that means doing a couple cycles than I’m all for it. In fact, the more juice the better. With all the testosterone these meat sticks would be pumping in their system, just imagine how many more fights we would see.. come on, who doesn’t love a good brawl? I’m getting pumped just talking about it.
about 1 year ago
I agree with you 100%, ShutoutSports! I know it’s the political correct thing to side with the anti-steroid voice, but honestly…those who think that steroids are evil or even a cheap cheat are living in a fantasy world where unicorns transport to various flowery, naive locations…or so to speak.
Who’s expert enough to deem any legal supplement more moral than any illegal supplement…the whole idea is archaic.
News flash!!! – Athletes use steroids to enhance their potential…it doesn’t make them supermen, but it does help them to become what they’re capable of being. Why not have every athlete actually performing to the degree of what they are capable of? I know…what a strange concept.